Revelation

So I agree. This isn't the sexiest picture I could find or the most scenic in regards to the Beijing Olympics but it's pretty good in my opinion. It represents to me what I have seen and observed in my 2.5 weeks trip to Asia with my family - passion and creativity.

One of the things I think I missed out on growing up was to really appreciate my culture. I think I purposefully took it for granted that I spoke the language fluently and dabbled in a few of the Chinese Performing Arts. For me, I felt that distancing myself away from my cultural roots represented some kind of success because I was able to "make it" on my own without relying on the race card or on anyone. Now I have come to see that my roots and my family are the pillars to my success.

While I was in Asia, there was a noticeable transformation in the way I handled myself. I saw a shift to me being more relaxed around my family and able to spend less. The latter part of this statement does not stem from the convenience of having my parents around but rather the realization that I don't need much to be happy. It's a strange thing because in the states, I am constantly shopping and going out in between work. This leaves me feeling like I always don't have enough to spend, which increases my need to put in extra hours. Amongst family in Asia, I felt so idiotically happy with the simplest things like a really good cheap meal and being able to tip someone who wasn't used to being tipped. Most of the time I didn't even want to spend anything and if I spent something it was generally for the family or for food. This very simple but remarkable change has made all the difference to me in terms of how I see and understand the idea of luxury. None of the bright shiny plastic smelling department stores or fancy schmancy hotels with alert bellboys had caught my attention in the least. It was the small businesses with generations of families running them and the small stores set up inside narrow corridors, which held my fascination and intrigue. It was as if nothing really mattered except for the people around me.

Another interesting epiphany that was bestowed upon me was the profound respect I have for Chinese culture and its people. Simply being in Beijing was enough to captivate my amazement at the herculian change of the scenery, economy, and modernization. Most of it is owed to the preparation for the 2008 Olympics and it is nothing short of extraordinary. Not only was the architecture and layout of the buildings grand, the passion of the Chinese people had not fallen short in the slightest. The enthusiasm felt from the cab drivers to people we met was contagious because everyone had so much pride for their country. They knew about the history, the politics, and the current events of China as well as a history professor or an economist. I'm not sure I can even remember one third of the high school history I learned in school. The difference to me lies in passion.

To be continued...

One Republic - All We Are

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you
And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it

And I believe that I could tear you apart but it won't break anything that you are
We'll say our goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right
All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit
I figured there's nothing to lose
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down
You're an island and my ship is running ground

Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by
So don't say your goodbyes you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change

I have got to grow bigger than my own reflection in the mirror and not feel intimidated by it.

It almost sounds like a late night infomercial where some chirpy voice in the back says, "Do you feel bullied by your own reflection? Do you ever just want to fight back and demand respect? Well, now's your chance!"

It's possible to see through other people but is it possible to see through yourself?

What would it feel like and how would it change our decisions in life?

I guess I can start by admitting that first and foremost... I am weird.

And she wept rivers of sparkling blue diamonds. She wept more than the waterfalls and the oceans combined.
Her sobs echoed through the oldest mountains and the tallest trees.

"Why are you crying?" said a very old man.

"Because the world is filled with such sadness and desperation, there is no hope."
He observed her for awhile and said, "Even if the skies turn dark and the stars don't shine, even if shadows lurk and winter reigns, there will always remain your ability to choose for yourself."

"And what do I choose?" she asked quietly.

"You will choose to remain true to your beliefs and your idea of what this world should be. Even if you stand alone with the world's back to you, you will choose to survive. You will survive because you will yourself to stand as a witness to the righteous. You will not give over to fear because the light inside your heart will guide you and prevail even in the darkest of all paths."

And since then, she remembers.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

my ideal guy would be someone who is artistically/musically talented, smart and witty, funny, sarcastic and a bit mysterious

but also good in public situations

and has a decent sense of style

preferably clean and independent
and cares about the little gestures that matter

Heart of the Matter - Don Henley

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things - we kill I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
You know it doesn't keep me warm
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought Id figured out
I have to learn again
Ive been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carrying that anger; it'll eat you up inside, baby
I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thought seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me
I've been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinking about forgiveness

Foolish Hindrance

It’s never ever you,

It’s always forever me.

As he looks away

From your tear stricken face.

Her ring flashes brilliantly,

Two babies on her knees.

Dinner reservations for one please,

Just me, smiling apologetically.

In the mirror we stare,

Where the other ego compares,

The inches that bulge everywhere.

You are not the fairest of them all here.

Maybe not today, I’ll win.

Or tomorrow be as toned and thin.

It might be awhile before my luck begins,

And a few reminders to lift up my chin.

I may not have a lot herein,

Two things I do are time and patience.

Let mistakes become a source of guidance,

Soon I’ll be the happiest I’ve ever been.