Life's Little Reminders

1.  Be in the moment.  You know when people say, "You're here but you're not really here?" When your mind starts to stray, reel it in and pay attention because what matters is the experience that is taking place then and there.

2.  Who is that person staring back at you in the mirror?  You're only as good as your fears and insecurities so know thy vices well.  It will only build self esteem and attract the right kinds of friends and lovers.  Be the best YOU can be and not by other people's standards.  People who truly love and care about you will not only reflect on your strengths but will accept your flaws as well.  Never change yourself for another person so much so that you start to lose sight of who it is you really are.  

3.  Never let your ego grow bigger than your compassion.  Be humble, gracious and appreciative of everything in your life because you are not better than anyone else.  You would do better to remember that you can learn something from everyone, especially the ones you DON'T want to become.

4.  Pick and choose your battles wisely.  Sometimes, the little things are just not worth it to get into a big fuss about.  However, you can't solve anything by always running away from your problems.  Always remember that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Most bad decisions we make occur during moments of anger and impatience.  Take a deep breath and think before you act.

5.  Never stop learning to strive upwards.  This goes hand in hand with #3 because it's easy to lose sight of Clark Kent when you become Superman.  They say people are like rocks tumbling from a mountain.  We are full of rough edges when we are young but they are eventually smoothed out by life's experiences and what becomes of it is a round, polished stone.  Read more, travel often, develop better social skills.  The more you better yourself FOR you, the more confidence you will have.  Try and surround yourself with positive people who carry the morales, principles, and mentality you agree with and not with those who belittle them.

6.  Always try and do the right thing.  The easy choices are not necessarily the right ones. Sometimes what we want is not what's best.  Learn to separate your head from your heart and listen to both independently.

7.  Heed good advice.  There should be a few people in your life who you can count on to save your life, rescue your baby, wipe drool from your face and pick you up even if you are covered in a huge pile of shit.  The advice they give you in times of indecision are usually for your own good even if you can't see it at the moment.  Listen to them.

8.  People who take care of themselves usually take care of business.  Ever noticed the first thoughts that come into your head when you notice an attractive person who seems really put together?  It's always something like, "They look good, I wonder what they're like" and you're immediately curious about them.  Another old saying "Messy bed, messy head" also states that people who are unorganized and lack an interest in their appearance tends to lead very messy lives as well.  Taking time to give yourself some tender loving care both inside and out will carry over to your working habits and goals.

9.  Balance, balance, balance.  Happiness is fleeting.  Joy is fragile.  Keep yourself well-rounded at YOUR own pace and not by other's standards.  You can't build a beautiful soaring tower without a strong solid foundation.  Be patient with your growing pains.

10.  Nothing lasts forever.  All the heartaches, disappointments, anger, and tears will eventually be replaced by other happiness that comes your way.  We will all eventually die whether or not we like it so why not make your time here on earth that much more pleasurable?  Kick out the bad influences in your life and keep the door wide open for the good.  Remember, you always deserve better.

"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."

-Lynda Barry

My goals for the new year is to keep climbing and to be even more comfortable in my own skin.  I should never lose sight to aspire for self-improvement.

Almost Lovers - A Fine Frenzy

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Why women shouldn't say 'I love you' first

By Wendy Atterberry

(The Frisky) -- If I have a daughter one day, among the many things I'll teach her will be how to tie her shoes, to look both ways before crossing the street, to never end a sentence with a preposition, and to always let the man say "I love you" first.

I'll give her plenty of other relationship tips, too, like how it's perfectly okay to ask a guy out, to make the first move, to even propose, but when it comes to the "L" word, the ball's in the guy's court.

This issue can cause a bit of commotion. "What is this, the Victorian era?" wrote one person, "if you truly love someone, tell them. Otherwise you're just playing outdated coquettish games." Another put it more diplomatically: "I don't think I've ever said 'I love you' first, but someone has to do it. It's okay to take a few risks."

I appreciate both arguments and understand the sentiments behind them, but at the risk of having my feminist card revoked, I think it's naïve for a woman to utter those three little words before a man does.

Unlike asking a man out, making a move on him, or even proposing, there's no action-based response to the first "I love you." It's all words, it's all emotion. In that moment, he either loves you back or he doesn't -- you only hear the black or white of a 'yes' or 'no,' not the grey of "Well, I like you a whole lot and I could see myself falling in love with you, but I'm just not quite there yet."

And the truth is, it often takes men longer to get there than it does for women. Men process their emotions more slowly, they're usually more cautious about taking their feelings and relationships to the next level.

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So what happens if you get there first and you say it and he's not there yet? What happens when your "I love you" is met with a "thank you," or worse, a deer-in-headlights look? Well, it stings, sure, but more than that, it can stop a perfectly happy and healthy relationship in its tracks before it's even too far from the station.

If a woman asks a man out and he says 'no,' at least she knows where she stands with him and she doesn't waste any time pining over someone who isn't interested. Same thing goes if she makes a move on him and she's rejected.

If she's in a serious relationship -- one where the expression of love as been made clearly by both partners -- and she's eager to make a deeper commitment, there's nothing wrong with proposing. At the very least, it'll start a conversation of where the relationship is headed so the woman can decide for herself if and how long she's willing to wait if man isn't interested in getting married yet.

But an "I love you" uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn't feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn't get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.

I guess my advice to my future daughter would be this: "If you love a man and want to have a long relationship with him, give him time to get there. If you think you've given him enough time and you're ready to move on if he doesn't feel the same way for you, then go ahead and tell him you love him. But only say those words if you're prepared to let him go."

The Promise

Maybe I was born a slow learner of hearts

Now and then I fumble clumsily in the dark

All the while I lose patience from the start

And utter words which come out too sharp

 I learn when to follow, when to depart

How to comfort two hearts far apart

Whisper soft secrets to my sweetheart

Or else to play the fool rather than outsmart

 

The more I age the less excuse I impart

On the needs of my own and those I love

I’ll write poetry and play like Mozart

If just to see the fire my lover’s eyes spark

 

One day when we are old wrinkled farts

My love is how I shall leave a mark

To impress the heavens and even Descartes

By resting all doubt without remark

 

What doesn't kill us, just makes us stranger.

Don't waste your whole life trying to take back what was taken away.

Once upon a time there lived a dragon, a rabbit and a boar.  They were three formidable characters with strong opinions and a wide stubborn streak.  Most of the time they bickered with each other over household issues and rarely saw eye to eye on things.  It does not need to be said that as much as these three waged petty wars over insignificant fights, they were also each other's guardian angels.  It also does not need to be pointed out that the love shared between these three ran deeper than the ocean itself, even though it was hard for them to show it at times.  One day, it may be too late to say anything anymore but for all the silence and anger once displayed, a stronger, better, and more loyal love remains.

Halo - PCD

I can take off when you need your time.

I can cheerlead for you from the sideline.

Whisper in your ear so divine.

But I'm not a superhero and

I'm sorry I couldn't wear your halo.

I'm sorry I couldn't be your angel.

Til' There's Silence

A thousand cranes had once been made

By a little girl who believed in saints

Around the world they felt her pain

And soon her craft rose up in fame

In another time and foreign place

Someone else had did the same

Instead of cranes, she wept in vain

A thousand heavy tears fell down her face

Across the ocean the girl starts to pray

When the cranes are made, will she be saved

By a hospital bed the sun starts to fade

Silently she awaits for another day

The other girl with a different name

Has stopped her eyes from pouring rain

A thousand and one tears will not change

The things that hurt which still remain

Dirt Tracks

Do sharp pangs suddenly strike

Of beguiled guilt buried deep inside

When I revealed to you a sudden loss

In which you never thought to think of twice

Our roles seem simple comedy

One cries and the other laughs easily

This never ending merry-go-round

Will only cease when one stops riding

The bruises we cause and those we keep

Make for bittersweet memories

In weakness they appear as enemies

With time they are realized as epiphanies

Hubris makes a capricious friend

It may break or save us in the end

We’re in the palm of each other’s hand

Never quite getting what we each planned

The Might of One

There’s a heaviness in my heart

An ocean of tears contained

An invisible shadow that’s cast

Over each step heavily strained

This battle weary armor I don

Is dented with stories of victory

Fiercely fighting the honest fight

Against the reflection that is my enemy

 

“Through the valley of shadow and death,

I will fear no evil,” we say.

For in the dark there will be light

To guide the faithful on their way

 

True strength lies not in the arms we bear

Nor from boastful words loudly declared

The one whose love is selflessly shared

Will conquer happiness from the jaws of despair

A Thousand Miles Later

Don’t let it go to waste

Those elements of surprise

Like a smile that becomes an ally

In moments of distaste

I hope God forgives us

For angry words misplaced

Many good intentions erased

From one too many forgotten mistakes

May the landing be a little softer

For every fall and trip you encounter

From now until you grow older

Will someone catch you when you falter

These words are merely reminders

Wishful thoughts of a foolish lover

Who closes her eyes under the covers

And smiles at memories still remembered

The diary in our heart awaits a key

For someone to set our emotions free

Sometimes the lock is never released

And the ink inside is left to bleed

On this day like any other

A bundle of joy befell your mother

Years to come and years retired

Her love and mine remain unexpired

Complications

Look at all the sorrow in the world

Drowning slowly those miserable souls

Were it not for the promise of dawn

Let songs be sung from broken hearts

Is there reason for the suffering

If love wields weakly against such doubt

We need to rescue only ourselves

And relinquish any crown to hell

Spirit Dance

Some swoon to their first kiss

Eyes closed upon goose prickled skin

A little gasp of air escapes

Parted lips with a lingering taste

Yesterday my face drained of blood

For atop a horse I found love

How such fear gripped my heart

It beated till it almost stopped

Yet a renewed strength had overcome

What ecstasy pierced my raging heart

As the wind fiercely seized both our manes

All worries forgotten like kicked up dust

No one left to judge except the setting sun

How sorry I felt to see her go

Though this is not the end, not even close

It surely is not the end of my spirit dance

You are an island in an ocean of diarrhea.

After All - Jonathan Clay

It was no accident
Maybe heaven sent
Everything worked out just like he planned

Its not my place
To mess with faith
You cant control what isn't in your hands

And after all I don't regret a thing
I want to thank you
For showing me this life

And after all I don't regret a thing
Cuz I know you
And I know you'll, I know you'll be alright

Holding hands
We were making plans
Forever didn't seem so far away

It's hard to think
It was you and me
Tangled up together in that frame

And after all I don't regret a thing
I want to thank you
For showing me this life

Desert Rose

I'm in the middle of writing my autobiography. The idea is to choose three major events in your life that has dictated who you are. So far my three is as follows:

1. My relationship with WQ.
2. Moving from Boston to LA.
3. ???

I am not my hair.
I am not my skin.
I am not your expectations.
I am the soul that lives within.

Last Chance

This is your last chance.

Do well, be well, stay well.

Why doesn't the wound stay shut?

Happy Birthday to Me...

My 25th birthday is officially here... It marks the end and the beginning of something great, which I can only hope my past experiences can help guide me through.

Things I wish to achieve this year:
1) Keep on going and moving
2) Strive to do what makes me happy
3) Stay close to family both in Asia and in the US

We are all part of something greater than our existence. We just have to take it one step at a time.

Anodyne

Anodyne: an·o·dyne serving to relieve pain

Another moment has just unearthed a flurry of eggs waiting to hatch. I am at another crossroads in my life and this time, I am rather thrilled to be a part of the action. If all goes as planned, I may very well be back in Boston this time next year... It all makes quite a bit of sense. I will return to where I started and a new chapter will unfold.

An exit has been set but where is the entrance?

G.U.I.L.T. trippin

Revelation

So I agree. This isn't the sexiest picture I could find or the most scenic in regards to the Beijing Olympics but it's pretty good in my opinion. It represents to me what I have seen and observed in my 2.5 weeks trip to Asia with my family - passion and creativity.

One of the things I think I missed out on growing up was to really appreciate my culture. I think I purposefully took it for granted that I spoke the language fluently and dabbled in a few of the Chinese Performing Arts. For me, I felt that distancing myself away from my cultural roots represented some kind of success because I was able to "make it" on my own without relying on the race card or on anyone. Now I have come to see that my roots and my family are the pillars to my success.

While I was in Asia, there was a noticeable transformation in the way I handled myself. I saw a shift to me being more relaxed around my family and able to spend less. The latter part of this statement does not stem from the convenience of having my parents around but rather the realization that I don't need much to be happy. It's a strange thing because in the states, I am constantly shopping and going out in between work. This leaves me feeling like I always don't have enough to spend, which increases my need to put in extra hours. Amongst family in Asia, I felt so idiotically happy with the simplest things like a really good cheap meal and being able to tip someone who wasn't used to being tipped. Most of the time I didn't even want to spend anything and if I spent something it was generally for the family or for food. This very simple but remarkable change has made all the difference to me in terms of how I see and understand the idea of luxury. None of the bright shiny plastic smelling department stores or fancy schmancy hotels with alert bellboys had caught my attention in the least. It was the small businesses with generations of families running them and the small stores set up inside narrow corridors, which held my fascination and intrigue. It was as if nothing really mattered except for the people around me.

Another interesting epiphany that was bestowed upon me was the profound respect I have for Chinese culture and its people. Simply being in Beijing was enough to captivate my amazement at the herculian change of the scenery, economy, and modernization. Most of it is owed to the preparation for the 2008 Olympics and it is nothing short of extraordinary. Not only was the architecture and layout of the buildings grand, the passion of the Chinese people had not fallen short in the slightest. The enthusiasm felt from the cab drivers to people we met was contagious because everyone had so much pride for their country. They knew about the history, the politics, and the current events of China as well as a history professor or an economist. I'm not sure I can even remember one third of the high school history I learned in school. The difference to me lies in passion.

To be continued...