Dear Santa,
I've been horribly good this year. If you were to bring me something, can it be love? If possible, I'd like it contained in something small so I can fit it into my pocket to remind me of my own worth. I promise to try not to break it or to neglect it for long periods of time because I know how hard it is to come by. Thank you.

Curtains Open

Suddenly, my left leg is pumping up and down like a drug addict at a rave. This always happens in response to something exciting and sends my leg into a frenzy. It finally calms down as my tired brain shoots inhibitory sensory signals into its calcium addicted muscles.

Relax, I've only pulled the gloves on and just beginning my entrance onto stage.

Good morning, good afternoon and good feelings to citizens of the world. I am but a humble servant to consumerism and offer only my talent of the written word. It might never be read by many but it is a timeless performance for those who care to see. I encourage you to challenge not only yourself in maintaining your attention span but to challenge me also, your ringmaster, in bringing you the best of my intended creations.